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Posted by / 10-Mar-2020 13:20

Single motherhood and dating

As I was leaving the nightmare awkward date, above, I looked to my right and realized The Centaur had been sitting there the whole time, hearing every word. Today, it’s the process of planning vacations that sets me off (I know, I’m pretty lucky if this is the type of thing that gets me upset). Tim has his two middle-school aged cousins in town this week, and life is good.

By the time the date ended, I was pretty convinced that I am a captivating princess witch who can fly, and who should expect nothing less than this level of sensuality and romance. But today, I had that ‘cry in the car’ kind of day, and each of my friends and siblings have done their patient duty of listening to me prattle this already month, and now it’s your turn, dear readers.

Almost half of our members are “thinkers” (as we call those who have not yet decided whether or not they want to become single mothers), and the rest are in the process of trying to conceive or adopt, or are mothers of children whose ages range from infancy through adulthood.

About 70 percent of our mothers conceived a child by donor insemination, and approximately 10 percent have adopted.

As Tim and I were finishing our trendy plates, in saunters Adonis with a beautiful lady conspicuously dressed in the previous night’s date-dress. I almost turned into a pillar of salt; the lovely lady was gazing over her shoulder at me! I thought, jokingly in my mind, about how, later, I’d tease Adonis, saying that because I was just trying to be discreet, knowing Adonis would surely be jealous of my captivating date (Tim). And I can never make our family go back to what it used to be for Tim, and what if a vacation with me as the only adult is just no fun? There were some emojis, an illustrated laundry list of his work, and some flirty words included. But unfortunately, this was one of those annoying texting situations where it was hard to tell what the real meaning was. (Oh the joy of having wise women around you to interpret the cryptic man-text! I went from feeling closed off and hopeless that I’d ever date again to goofing around with a sexy man on a patio on a sunny June afternoon.

Much of our lives are kept sealed away like nuclear waste. I made sure I was on my game, beauty-wise, as I usually try to do. I just wanted to maybe just to give him a wink, a knowing glance to let him know ‘I see you. It would have been a human and decent thing for him to do to give a hello. Also, does it mean something if a man I’ve been casually dating lately with wants to watch the once-in-a-lifetime in our region solar eclipse with me? I’m not sure I’m cool with the conclusions he might draw if I took him up on his invitation–might infringe on my single self. It’s time for another round of dating horror stories: I am getting over being sick and only out with this dude due to boredom. When a guy launches into a speech on the first date “I’m almost too nice. My decision-making skills are weakened from years of letting my spouse take the lead. In addition, I worry that every plan I come up with will be inadequate. And up until recently, family was always the three of us; Tim, his dad, and me.

Since we define a Single Mother by Choice as a single woman who CHOSE to be the sole parent of their child (at least at the outset), if you are divorced and have had or adopted a child child as a single mother, you would be welcome to join SMC.

(There are many other groups for divorced or co-parenting moms that can offer better support than we can on typical divorce issues, such as child support and visitation, as we are don’t have experience with these kinds of issues.) The decision to become a Single Mother by Choice is one with lifelong consequences and which should be given a great deal of thought.

The main thing that we have in common is our belief that a woman can successfully raise a child on her own.

The average age of our members is 35, and nearly all have completed college or more.

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We are very protective of our members’ privacy, and so we only give the names of our members to other members.