Love addiction and online dating
In this ephemeral relationship stage the other person seems endlessly fascinating, and his or her character flaws (the things that eventually become bothersome) are easily ignored, mostly thanks to the release of dopamine, along with oxytocin, serotonin, adrenaline and various other endorphins, into the rewards center of the brain.Importantly, this neurochemical reaction matches the neurochemical surge wrought by addictive sexual fantasy/activity and drugs of abuse.She reasons that if Anastasia could find such a deep romantic intensity with Christian, then she can find the perfect man too. Plus, her ability to self-soothe with romantic fantasies about Anastasia and Christian (or about herself and whomever it is that she met and fell for that day) is what gets her through her life.It’s her go-to coping mechanism whenever she’s feeling blue.The DSM-5 lists eleven criteria for substance addiction (officially referred to as Substance Use Disorder), any two of which must be present for a diagnosis.And that listing could certainly be adapted for use here.And over time love addicts inevitably experience the same basic consequences: depression, anxiety, lowered self-esteem, ruined relationships, trouble at work or in school, declining physical and/or emotional health, financial woes, loss of interest family, friends, hobbies and other previously enjoyable activities, and more.
Once I got hookup apps on my smartphone, especially Ashley Madison, things really spiraled out of control. I just spin from one woman to another, and I almost completely ignore my wife.This is simply a cultural norm, mostly a reaction to the general societal acceptance (and celebration) of male but not female sexual activity. Consider Dino, a 35-year-old married father of three.I married my high school sweetheart right out of high school because I got her pregnant.It’s important to state that love addicts are not hooked on love.Instead, they’re addicted to limerence (the neurochemical rush of new romance).
However, love addicts use sex as a tool for hooking and/or holding on to a romantic partner, whereas sex addicts typically do the opposite, using the lure of romance to obtain a sexual partner.