Girlfriend needs break dating another guy
“The pain is still there, to be sure, but it typically doesn't last as long because women intuitively know what the magnitude of the loss will be if things don't work out.”In all this dissecting, it’s important to note that men are not less emotional than women, but rather they may be less equipped with emotional support. Richard Matzkin, a former men’s therapy group leader and the author of "Loving Promises: The Master Class For Creating Magnificent Relationship," asserts that it’s more a matter of women “being more in touch with their emotions” and more “emotionally durable."Traditionally, society encourages women to talk about their relationships with one another, while men are often encouraged to “man up,” as it were, and not submit to feelings. Is it any wonder they may bubble up years later when they’re trying to love again?
This same thinking — that men should buck up — can also dissuade men from seeking counseling or therapy or even, simply, deep conversations with other men.
“The greater the shock of the loss, the longer it takes to recover.”But why would men be less prepared than women?
In Brown’s estimations, it comes down to knowing just how attached you are to your partner — a cognizance that may more easily manifest in women than men.“Women tend to recover faster because they know how attached they are to their partners, so the shock isn't as great,” says Brown.
They would drive for hours, lost, but refuse to ask for help and instead try to find where they needed to go on their own. GPS has changed that, but you get the point: Guys don't like to be vulnerable or appear weak.”The good news is that this is beginning to change.“Our culture has shifted and men have been socialized to be more open and vulnerable,” says Coleman. Society has a ways to go in all things gender equality, and that includes emotional honesty and exploration for men.Once, I literally held a man while he wept over an ex, all the while silently begging the universe to make him some day love me the way he loved her.I chose his needs over my own and it backfired for both of us.Then there was Franz, my love from Germany, who as soon as his internship in the U.S was finished, reunited with his ex back in Heidelberg.
Coleman advises that we don’t beat ourselves up for trying to help, but also strongly recommends backing off from potential partners who are clearly not ready to move on from a breakup, no matter how long ago.“If a woman feels the need to help him get over her, there is a problem, and one only he can solve,” says Coleman.